In late August, 1956, I found myself in a dark and lonely place in my mind.  I was young, and lonely, feeling the world was to big and lonely for me.  I knew about Jesus, and I knew

about Heaven, and not to much about Hell.  It didn't all come together in my mind as to what it all meant.  In my hurt and confusion, the devil whispered in my mind that the only way out

was to die.  I found myself looking out a fourth floor window into the dark night during a thunderstorm.  As I prepared to

open the window and let myself drop over the edge, I heard an audible whisper next to my right ear.  It said, quite clearly,

      "You are jumping into Hell!"  I was startled.  The voice was

plain and clear.  I backed up for a moment, but went again to

the window.  Again I heard the whisper, loud and clear, in my

right ear.  "You are jumping into Hell!  This time I became so

frightened that I ran away from the window.

 

     My mind cast about for a remedy.  My soul was wailing, and

I needed to give expression to that wail.  So I grabbed a

stubby pencil, and a paper note pad, and started to write.  I

still remember the words to that poem:

 

  Blame not yourselves, my dear beloved ones,

  For now it's much to late

  To wrangle with your hearts  

  And try to turn around my fate.

 

  The world is a much to lonely place

  For such a one as I--

  It holds to many heartaches

  And I haven't tears enough to cry--

 

  So I laugh and play the clown,

  And try to hide my fears

  But there is no more to jest about--

  Only choking, broken tears--

 

  For my soul is all alone,

  And as I hear the raging sky,

  My heart cries out to heaven,

  Oh, God, please let me die!

 

 

     Come unto Me, Jesus said in His Word.  And I will give you

rest.  I had no peace of mind.  I had no peace of soul.  I had

no Rest.  Day by day, I would hear the question repeating

itself in the back of my mind.

 

     WHERE IS MY REST?

 

     Then, one day, I got invited to a church.  It was a

church full of people praising Jesus because they had found Him

to be the Rest of their souls.

 

     The pastor saw me sit down in the pew, and shouted at me,

"young lady, God wants to save your soul right now!"  I burst

into tears, and the whole church started praying for me.  The

pastor came down to the pew and put his hand on on my back and

shouted at the devil that was binding my mind and told it to

leave.  I felt an explosion in my mind, like I was suddenly

free to make a choice for what was good and right and

beautiful.

 

     Through my tears, I prayed, Lord, I know I've hardened my

heart against You.  Will You soften my heart so I can let You

in?  And when you have, put a smile on my face."

 

     My sobs and tears instantly stopped, and I broke into a

pure, joyful laughter, as the strange and marvelous sensation

of the presence of God's light entered my soul so strongly  it

poured over my body as well.

 

     I had been lost and all alone, as though lost in a dark

night at the end of a blind alley at midnight.  The Lord Jesus

exploded in my soul like Fourth of July fireworks.

 

     The Lord took my soul from dark night to glorious light.

 

     He had promised "I will give you Rest."

 

     Suddenly that Rest was exploding in my soul and bathing my

physical body with a glorious peace.

 

     While I had been sobbing, my sins had flashed through my

mind like a rapid-fire motion picture.  The weight of how awful

sin really was brought more tears.

 

     "All your life", I heard my conscience say, "you have

chosen that which was "easy" over that which is "right"."  My

biggest sin had been selfishness, and an attitude towards God

that told Him, "butt out of my life, I'll live it myself!"

 

     But in that glorious moment when I let go of my

stubbornness and self will, and called on Jesus, Jesus

answered. 

 

     He washed away my sin, my rebellion, my dark lonliness.

 

     He gave me Rest.

 

     I have lived many years since then.  I have known the joys

and sorrows of this life.  I have known the struggles of this

life.

 

     But all through the years, I have lived my life in this

world with the abiding, beautiful strength of soul that comes

by abiding moment to moment in His Rest.

 

     He gave me Rest.

 

     If you will turn from your sins, and repent of your

stubbornness and give your soul to Jesus, He will also give you

Rest. 

 

  COME UNTO ME, ALL YE THAT LABOR AND ARE HEAVY LADEN, AND

 

        

                I WILL GIVE YOU REST